The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
