What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
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