and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
this hospital has no fireball
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
