I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
