Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
