No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize