First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
