i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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