i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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