I'm drive I can fine osifer
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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