no, he came in my armpit
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
