Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
