Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
