how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
