What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize