So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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