It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
