Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
