erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
