So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
