She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
