Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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