remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
