yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
