i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
