Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
