Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest