Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
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how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
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It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.