I wannas sexs uuuuu
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."