I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning