Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't see you I see the memories. All the time

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  (269): Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories (269): I don't see you I see the memories. All the time http://tfl.nu/pc8l
  Replies (26) Good night (965) Bad night (1789)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

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  (312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon! http://tfl.nu/58y3
  Replies (9) Good night (4247) Bad night (863)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.

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  (616): We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks. http://tfl.nu/giz7
  Replies (14) Good night (4969) Bad night (1114)
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  (510): View more from California

  I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms

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  (510): I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms http://tfl.nu/txtg
  Replies (1) Good night (1208) Bad night (2465)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me

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  (617): She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me http://tfl.nu/0bof
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (3330)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom

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  (214): Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom http://tfl.nu/1svl
  Replies (6) Good night (1199) Bad night (2174)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over

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  (443): We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over http://tfl.nu/j0uq
  Replies (5) Good night (1915) Bad night (769)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult

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  (972): Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult http://tfl.nu/j3hz
  Replies (5) Good night (1367) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.

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  (580): That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/nlfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!

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  (707): Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down! http://tfl.nu/7qyi
  Replies (12) Good night (1377) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.

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  (440): Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car. http://tfl.nu/ebaa
  Replies (6) Good night (2706) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was told my cock was a religious experience.

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  (913): I was told my cock was a religious experience. http://tfl.nu/13mw
  Replies (6) Good night (2083) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just blew my weed a kiss

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  (828): I just blew my weed a kiss http://tfl.nu/vers
  Replies (6) Good night (1149) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you

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  (406): Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you http://tfl.nu/uju1
  Replies (4) Good night (1002) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you

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  (707): He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you http://tfl.nu/2xma
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (367)

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