I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
