how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
