Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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