ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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