508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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