I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
