So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
