Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize