My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
