Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
