do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
