Plan B is the new Plan A
It's just like the Real World with babies
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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