I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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