I have demons in me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
