you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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