This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
