I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
