My hand turned me down
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
