so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
