Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
