i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
