Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.