p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
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I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
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I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"