Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
