can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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