erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It's never too late to be topless.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
