He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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