dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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