Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
