so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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