All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Boobs speak an international language.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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