Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
