Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
