I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize