i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
