Where is the hickey?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
