I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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