So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
