Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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